December 9, 2009: Two years ago for my second surgery for Moyamoya.

I'm not going to say much about this. This is what surgery number 2 looked like. Quite different than number 1, but the same. I'm not going to lie...this is a very emotional time of year for me, starting with Halloween through December 16th (the day our family returned home from San Francisco, to our second chance at life). For me, part of moving on is remembering...part of healing is to grieve for that time and for others going through the same thing..it helps me move forward. Many people say "You're good now, let it go." I never can and I never will. 

Happy 5th birthday to my handsome boy!!!

Today my baby is 5 years old...where did the time go? It seems like they grow up way too fast! 

He and I went to breakfast this morning and he had waffles with blueberries and whipped cream, with bacon. He thought that was pretty special. I even took him to school late and he get's to spend it with one of his best buds! We'll have a birthday dinner tonight with the family and then his big friend party is this Saturday. Should be a blast!!!!

Emotional time of year for me.

December 2nd is the 2nd anniversary of my first Moyamoya surgery. I wish I could convey to others what it means to me, how it feels, not so much physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Being told that you have a rare illness that will, eventually, kill you if you don't have two brain surgeries is life changing. It changes almost every aspect of your life. Some people don't understand and all I can say is "how could you", there's no way unless you've been in that situation. I don't mean that like walk in my shoes, no, not like that, but that you honestly can't.

I see pictures, hear songs, see movies...things that I remember and they automatically fall into "before Moyamoya" and "after Moyamoya". I don't try to categorize them that way, it just happens. I can't help it. It really is my first thought.

But, with every anniversary I realize that I have been given a second chance. Not many people get a second chance in life. I am very thankful that I was diagnosed and treated quickly. I am thankful that I have very few problems left over from the strokes and surgeries. I am thankful that I was able to put my life into God's hands and actually feel His peaceful embrace. I am thankful that I am still here with my family, and thankful for my family. While I am not thankful that I have Moyamoya and all that I have gone through, I am thankful that I can support others who are going through Moyamoya as well. I am thankful that my experience can and has helped others. I'm just so blessed and so thankful.

So tomorrow, when my second anniversary is here, this is what I will be thinking about...not about all the bad, scary stuff that happened, but how well I am now, physically, and all the things I am thankful for.