Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
I just had to share this. I just received it in my inbox. What timing... (from Proverbs 31 Ministries, daily devotion)
| November 15, 2011 Labels Lisa Whittle, She Seeks |
“I have called you by name; you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1b (NLT)
I ran down the stairs to find the usual smattering of bright red, green and silver wrapped boxes full of gifts. I tore into them, anticipating the many things I’d written on my long Christmas wish list. All the gifts excited me. But one, in particular, was a favorite: my very own shiny black label maker.
In the weeks to come, I would put labels on everything. My shoes had white sticky strips with gray crooked letters that spelled ‘Lisa’ on them. So did my books, my bags, my plastic baton handle and even my padded bicycle seat. I took great pleasure in tagging the things I loved with my name.
But as the years went on, I used labels in different ways. I labeled myself as confident when deep down, I was really afraid. I labeled myself as bad when I became weighted down by my sin. Even as an adult, when my husband and I closed the church we started just 13 months earlier, I labeled myself a failure.
Labels. Not all of them are good.
Often, the labels we put on ourselves as grown women can create holes inside us — the kind of internal voids that only God can fill. We do this when we pluck one negative experience from our life, or even, a positive one, and we decide that our life story, worth and future rests on the label our experience has created. It is then that we fail to remember that the only label we need ever wear is the one that says we belong to Jesus.
Jesus did not create us to wear the labels of this world, even the ones we place on ourselves. Instead, He created us as His “dearly loved children” (Eph. 5:1 NIV).
Labels get in the way of this. They keep us tagged with unhealthy stigmas, emotions and pieces from our past that weigh on us and stifle His intention for our life.
The truth is, our experiences do not own us unless we give them permission. Instead, we have access to the power of God to help us peel off the labels, so we may start living a whole new story — our own story of wholeness.
Are you ready to live without your labels? If you are, then you are in the right place.
Because today, Jesus wants you to know that His label of love has covered all the rest. And with that covering, no other label has room to stick.
Dear Lord, thank You for being the only label I need wear. Help me to take off the other labels I have been given, even by myself. May I know, today, that identity in You offers freedom...and may I receive it into the deepest places of my heart by the power of Your Holy Spirit. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Anyone who knows me, I mean really knows me, knows how much I have changed from the Moyamoya diagnosis and all that crazy time in my life entailed. I am no where near to being the same person I was. It really hit me like a ton of bricks, the shock of a life time, and it left me feeling like a shell of my former self. My self confidence, esteem and worth have really declined; almost lost. I've been working on it, praying a lot, but it's still really hard.
Yesterday something happened that really set me back again. I went to a salon (that I used to go to, and they know me there) to get my brows waxed. The stylist didn't even recognize me and when she did she was shocked! She said "Oh my God, I didn't even recognize you! What happened? Oh my God, your hair...come here and let me fix this. This is a mess...it's horrible! Somebody just butchered you!" and on and on and on. There were other people in the salon who heard it all as well. I was so embarrassed!
People know I hate my short hair and I regret so much cutting it short to even it out with where they shaved my head for my surgeries. I hate it, and regret it so much...and am trying to grow it out again. Well, the stylist didn't cut much, but set me back at least a couple of months growth. Yes, maybe it looks better, or lays better now, but so. Vanity has never been something I cared about. I have very sensitive skin so I rarely wear make up. When I do, my skin turns red, itches and breaks out. (and yes, I've tried many brands).
The hair may look better now, but I don't see much change...in it or the way I feel about myself.
Yesterday something happened that really set me back again. I went to a salon (that I used to go to, and they know me there) to get my brows waxed. The stylist didn't even recognize me and when she did she was shocked! She said "Oh my God, I didn't even recognize you! What happened? Oh my God, your hair...come here and let me fix this. This is a mess...it's horrible! Somebody just butchered you!" and on and on and on. There were other people in the salon who heard it all as well. I was so embarrassed!
People know I hate my short hair and I regret so much cutting it short to even it out with where they shaved my head for my surgeries. I hate it, and regret it so much...and am trying to grow it out again. Well, the stylist didn't cut much, but set me back at least a couple of months growth. Yes, maybe it looks better, or lays better now, but so. Vanity has never been something I cared about. I have very sensitive skin so I rarely wear make up. When I do, my skin turns red, itches and breaks out. (and yes, I've tried many brands).
The hair may look better now, but I don't see much change...in it or the way I feel about myself.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
When it rains, it pours!
We had to take my 6 year old daughter to the ER. She woke up crying in the middle of the night and couldn't move, her neck was so sore and stiff. We called our doctor and he said to take her to the ER because he could see her, but a meningitis test would have to be done there anyway. Long story short...she didn't have meningitis, thank God! She did however test positive for strep throat. Her lymph nodes and muscles where very sore from the strep. She is now on antibiotics and isn't contagious any more, as of right now (24 hours later).
My son, who just had 2 tonsil surgeries, spiked a fever and I was afraid he had strep as well. I took him to our local Urgent Care to be tested, last night. He came back negative. I was surprised! I thought for sure that was why he had a temperature of 100.4*. He woke up at 10:10pm crying, inconsolably. We had to calm him down to give his some medicine. This is so frustrating! It seems as if he is getting worse again! Can he possibly have yet another blood clot? Wouldn't the Urgent Care doctor see it? Did they do the strep test right? Is he really positive? After many bad experiences with this hospital, I just don't trust them any more. All I know that if we have another night of screaming and crying, I am calling the doctor that did his surgery and ask what is going on???!!!
So, they are both home from school today. My daughter can go back tomorrow, and my son, hopefully his preschool class on Friday. We'll see how it goes.
My nephew is also home from school today. He says his stomach doesn't feel well. I really wasn't surprised by his announcement this morning. My other two were staying home and he has some hypochondria issues. I fully expected him to be sick today. I even discussed it with my mom and husband yesterday.
Speaking of my nephew, he's having a really hard time. He really seams to hate living with us, even though we are doing all we can do to make him feel welcome. We have gone way out of our way to let him visit "home" when he can, driving 3 hours, to and from, taking and picking him up every time. My mom also has to rearrange her schedule to accommodate him, which she does, but it doesn't help. He just mopes around all of the time, or sits in his room. It's really frustrating! I know this is hard on him, but he could try. I mean, just a little bit. I never hear "please" or "thank you" for taking him either, just "When are we leaving?". He cries when I pick him up from my mom, it's just so hard. I picked him up last Sunday and all he said was "I can't wait for Thanksgiving" - meaning, when he can be with them again. No thank you for going way out of your way to make me happy...nothing. It's very frustrating. I don't know what else I can do to perk him up, get him out of his depression...and yes, he sees two councilors at school, their procedure for kids in this situation, so I hope it will help. I just feel so helpless on this front...
We had to take my 6 year old daughter to the ER. She woke up crying in the middle of the night and couldn't move, her neck was so sore and stiff. We called our doctor and he said to take her to the ER because he could see her, but a meningitis test would have to be done there anyway. Long story short...she didn't have meningitis, thank God! She did however test positive for strep throat. Her lymph nodes and muscles where very sore from the strep. She is now on antibiotics and isn't contagious any more, as of right now (24 hours later).
My son, who just had 2 tonsil surgeries, spiked a fever and I was afraid he had strep as well. I took him to our local Urgent Care to be tested, last night. He came back negative. I was surprised! I thought for sure that was why he had a temperature of 100.4*. He woke up at 10:10pm crying, inconsolably. We had to calm him down to give his some medicine. This is so frustrating! It seems as if he is getting worse again! Can he possibly have yet another blood clot? Wouldn't the Urgent Care doctor see it? Did they do the strep test right? Is he really positive? After many bad experiences with this hospital, I just don't trust them any more. All I know that if we have another night of screaming and crying, I am calling the doctor that did his surgery and ask what is going on???!!!
So, they are both home from school today. My daughter can go back tomorrow, and my son, hopefully his preschool class on Friday. We'll see how it goes.
My nephew is also home from school today. He says his stomach doesn't feel well. I really wasn't surprised by his announcement this morning. My other two were staying home and he has some hypochondria issues. I fully expected him to be sick today. I even discussed it with my mom and husband yesterday.
Speaking of my nephew, he's having a really hard time. He really seams to hate living with us, even though we are doing all we can do to make him feel welcome. We have gone way out of our way to let him visit "home" when he can, driving 3 hours, to and from, taking and picking him up every time. My mom also has to rearrange her schedule to accommodate him, which she does, but it doesn't help. He just mopes around all of the time, or sits in his room. It's really frustrating! I know this is hard on him, but he could try. I mean, just a little bit. I never hear "please" or "thank you" for taking him either, just "When are we leaving?". He cries when I pick him up from my mom, it's just so hard. I picked him up last Sunday and all he said was "I can't wait for Thanksgiving" - meaning, when he can be with them again. No thank you for going way out of your way to make me happy...nothing. It's very frustrating. I don't know what else I can do to perk him up, get him out of his depression...and yes, he sees two councilors at school, their procedure for kids in this situation, so I hope it will help. I just feel so helpless on this front...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Another loss at our house.
Sometime during the stress and panic of my son having his second surgery, we lost our two pet frogs. I am deeply saddened by their passing. I feel horrible and so guilty. I take such good care of all my pets, and I truly love them all. To find them without water, and both dead hit me very hard. I just dropped and cried like I haven't cried for a long time in my husband's embrace. I think the culmination of what we've been through this past week with my son and my frogs death was more than I could handle. I know I will miss them terribly, I really enjoyed caring for them and watching them, as well as their chirping. I found it very relaxing. It's too soon to make any decision as to whether or not we will replace them.
Rest in Peace, Mario and Luigi!
Sometime during the stress and panic of my son having his second surgery, we lost our two pet frogs. I am deeply saddened by their passing. I feel horrible and so guilty. I take such good care of all my pets, and I truly love them all. To find them without water, and both dead hit me very hard. I just dropped and cried like I haven't cried for a long time in my husband's embrace. I think the culmination of what we've been through this past week with my son and my frogs death was more than I could handle. I know I will miss them terribly, I really enjoyed caring for them and watching them, as well as their chirping. I found it very relaxing. It's too soon to make any decision as to whether or not we will replace them.
Rest in Peace, Mario and Luigi!
We had to rush my son to the Emergency Room on Friday night.
He starting spewing blood like one of those horror movies, it's the only way I can describe it. There was so much blood, and we were so scared!
We were getting the kids ready for bed. He was in his PJ's, in his bed, and just laid back on his pillow when he made this choking, gagging noise, and out poured blood from his mouth. I freaked out! We had just given him his medicine, which is red, so when I yelled to my husband that he was spitting up blood, he said it was just the medicine. He wasn't there and I yelled to him that it was blood. He came in our son's room and grabbed him and ran to the bathroom. He was crying and spitting so much blood into the toilet. I yelled to my daughter to get shoes and socks on, and a jacket and get in the car. We then drove to the local ER.
By the time we got there the bleeding had stopped. The ER staff checked him out and wanted us to stay around for an hour or so for observations. About the time that they were considering letting us go home, he starting spewing blood again, but this time worse. They put an IV in him and called for an ambulance. They were sending him to Children's hospital in downtown Minneapolis. My husband went with and I drove myself there, after a quick stop at home to let the dog out of his kennel to poyty and grabbed my phone charger. Five minutes later I was off to the other hospital, where a surgeon was waiting to rush our son back into surgery.
A very good friend of mine was able to come to the hospital and pick up my daughter and keep her over night. Thank goodness for very good friends! She was able to keep her until about noon and then took her over to my in-laws house here in town.
When I got to the hospital there was so much construction I didn't know where to park. Finally, without even knowing where I was going I pulled into the correct parking ramp and parked the car. Luckily, since it was so late at night (it was just after midnight when I got there) there was parking right by the hospital entrance. I was a little scared...that downtown area is pretty bad, with crime and whatnot, so I was very relieved when I made it inside the hospital.
After two security checks I was directed to the ER where I just barely caught my husband and son as they were taking him into surgery. I got to see him off, give him kisses, and talk to the surgeon and anesthesiologist. He was in surgery about half an hour when the surgeon came to talk to us. She said that everything went well. She removed a blood clot from his throat about the size of a golf ball and re-cauterized the seeping veins. He was in recovery and we'd be able to see him in about 45 minutes.
From recovery he was taken to a hospital room on the 6th floor. It was about 2:30 in the morning by this time and he was really tired and groggy, as were we. At about 3:30 my husband and I we able to lay down and get a little sleep on a tiny fold-out couch in his room. Various nurses came in about every half our to check on him and do vitals. He finally fell asleep and it was obvious that he was comfortable, so we laid down too.
When he woke up in the morning it was immediately clear how much better he was! He had his color back (he's been kind of a whitish/blueish/greenish color for days before) and he had the spark in his eyes back. He looked so much better! He was hungry and ate 2 Popsicles, juice and some chicken broth. He wanted to controller for the Xbox360 that was in his room and was sitting up, playing video games with Daddy. It was great! He was also getting up and walking to the bathroom.
He was discharged to go home at about noon. He is on a soft food only order for a few days but he was starving, so we went to KFC on the way home for some mac n cheese and mashed potatoes. He ate all the mac n cheese before we even got home.
That night he slept from 7:00pm to 5:00am. He calmly asked for medicine and a Popsicle, no more screaming and crying in pain, then he went back to sleep until 9:00am. We were shocked! We all slept until 9:00am! I guess we were all pretty tired.
He has been a totally different child ever since. He is sleeping through the night and doesn't even ask for pain medicine every few hours. We give it to him when he needs it, but he isn't in pain, crying for it.
Thank goodness! He still has to be home for a while, not really sure when he can go back to school, but we'll play that by ear...see how he's feeling.
He starting spewing blood like one of those horror movies, it's the only way I can describe it. There was so much blood, and we were so scared!
We were getting the kids ready for bed. He was in his PJ's, in his bed, and just laid back on his pillow when he made this choking, gagging noise, and out poured blood from his mouth. I freaked out! We had just given him his medicine, which is red, so when I yelled to my husband that he was spitting up blood, he said it was just the medicine. He wasn't there and I yelled to him that it was blood. He came in our son's room and grabbed him and ran to the bathroom. He was crying and spitting so much blood into the toilet. I yelled to my daughter to get shoes and socks on, and a jacket and get in the car. We then drove to the local ER.
By the time we got there the bleeding had stopped. The ER staff checked him out and wanted us to stay around for an hour or so for observations. About the time that they were considering letting us go home, he starting spewing blood again, but this time worse. They put an IV in him and called for an ambulance. They were sending him to Children's hospital in downtown Minneapolis. My husband went with and I drove myself there, after a quick stop at home to let the dog out of his kennel to poyty and grabbed my phone charger. Five minutes later I was off to the other hospital, where a surgeon was waiting to rush our son back into surgery.
A very good friend of mine was able to come to the hospital and pick up my daughter and keep her over night. Thank goodness for very good friends! She was able to keep her until about noon and then took her over to my in-laws house here in town.
When I got to the hospital there was so much construction I didn't know where to park. Finally, without even knowing where I was going I pulled into the correct parking ramp and parked the car. Luckily, since it was so late at night (it was just after midnight when I got there) there was parking right by the hospital entrance. I was a little scared...that downtown area is pretty bad, with crime and whatnot, so I was very relieved when I made it inside the hospital.
After two security checks I was directed to the ER where I just barely caught my husband and son as they were taking him into surgery. I got to see him off, give him kisses, and talk to the surgeon and anesthesiologist. He was in surgery about half an hour when the surgeon came to talk to us. She said that everything went well. She removed a blood clot from his throat about the size of a golf ball and re-cauterized the seeping veins. He was in recovery and we'd be able to see him in about 45 minutes.
From recovery he was taken to a hospital room on the 6th floor. It was about 2:30 in the morning by this time and he was really tired and groggy, as were we. At about 3:30 my husband and I we able to lay down and get a little sleep on a tiny fold-out couch in his room. Various nurses came in about every half our to check on him and do vitals. He finally fell asleep and it was obvious that he was comfortable, so we laid down too.
When he woke up in the morning it was immediately clear how much better he was! He had his color back (he's been kind of a whitish/blueish/greenish color for days before) and he had the spark in his eyes back. He looked so much better! He was hungry and ate 2 Popsicles, juice and some chicken broth. He wanted to controller for the Xbox360 that was in his room and was sitting up, playing video games with Daddy. It was great! He was also getting up and walking to the bathroom.
He was discharged to go home at about noon. He is on a soft food only order for a few days but he was starving, so we went to KFC on the way home for some mac n cheese and mashed potatoes. He ate all the mac n cheese before we even got home.
That night he slept from 7:00pm to 5:00am. He calmly asked for medicine and a Popsicle, no more screaming and crying in pain, then he went back to sleep until 9:00am. We were shocked! We all slept until 9:00am! I guess we were all pretty tired.
He has been a totally different child ever since. He is sleeping through the night and doesn't even ask for pain medicine every few hours. We give it to him when he needs it, but he isn't in pain, crying for it.
Thank goodness! He still has to be home for a while, not really sure when he can go back to school, but we'll play that by ear...see how he's feeling.
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