Anyone who knows me, I mean really knows me, knows how much I have changed from the Moyamoya diagnosis and all that crazy time in my life entailed. I am no where near to being the same person I was. It really hit me like a ton of bricks, the shock of a life time, and it left me feeling like a shell of my former self. My self confidence, esteem and worth have really declined; almost lost. I've been working on it, praying a lot, but it's still really hard.

Yesterday something happened that really set me back again. I went to a salon (that I used to go to, and they know me there) to get my brows waxed. The stylist didn't even recognize me and when she did she was shocked! She said "Oh my God, I didn't even recognize you! What happened? Oh my God, your hair...come here and let me fix this. This is a mess...it's horrible! Somebody just butchered you!" and on and on and on. There were other people in the salon who heard it all as well. I was so embarrassed!

People know I hate my short hair and I regret so much cutting it short to even it out with where they shaved my head for my surgeries. I hate it, and regret it so much...and am trying to grow it out again. Well, the stylist didn't cut much, but set me back at least a couple of months growth. Yes, maybe it looks better, or lays better now, but so. Vanity has never been something I cared about. I have very sensitive skin so I rarely wear make up. When I do, my skin turns red, itches and breaks out. (and yes, I've tried many brands).

The hair may look better now, but I don't see much change...in it or the way I feel about myself.