Still feeling tired and sluggish. I'm sure this rain storm isn't helping. I did get on the elliptical for 10 minutes...taking it easy. Having a TIA always scares me. I spent most of the day on the couch with my sick daughter. I'm sure that didn't help the tired and groggy feeling.  :)

I know I have to take care of myself, and the rest felt good, but I feel like I get labelled lazy when I do that. I didn't do much around the house today and my husband didn't come out and say anything, but I could tell the "What the heck did you do today" was there. No one understands what looking normal and suffering in silence feels like. OK, that was a little dramatic, but you know what I mean. Just because you look fine doesn't mean someone is.

So we went camping for 4 days over the 4th of July, and had a lot of fun! the first night was gorgeous, followed by a day that was so windy we couldn't do anything but sit and yell to hear each other. The next days were so nice. We went boating, tubing and swimming. It was a lot of fun!

While packing to go home, I reached up into a cupboard to get a cup for my son and my left side just went gone. "Gone" is the best way to explain it. All of the sudden, I had no feeling on my left side at all, like it all just fell off. I felt like I could fall to the floor but made it to the couch, in the motor home, and sat down. I told my son to go get my husband. I was eating something, and chewing, but my mouth felt a little weird as well. By the time my husband came in it was gone. It only lasted about 20 seconds, but felt much longer. I wasn't sure if it was going to stop, or continue and get worse. Luckily, it was just that short, and resolved quickly. My husband made me do all the stroke tests...smile, stick out your tongue, hold your arms out, etc...and I passed them all. I had no pain, no headache, and nothing afterwards. We think it was a TIA.

I think maybe I didn't keep myself hydrated enough. We were out in the sun a lot, and I think maybe I didn't drink enough water or Gatorade. I need to make sure to get enough fluids while we're out in the sun!

It's been a rough Summer, I'm not even going to lie. Luckily, I've had one really good friend who has been there and has helped me out. God knows what I would do without her. She's a true blessing!

It's been a weird Summer. People that I was friends with are now suddenly gone. Just gone, or too busy for me, or I've pissed them off (somehow...not really sure). I always try to be honest with people and with situations. I guess some people can't handle the truth (not that I've been rude). Most of these people I have helped out with gifts of clothing, or helped around their house when spouses were down, or helped with household chores when they were too busy, all for free, out of the kindness of my own heart. And the best...a friend request on facebook declined. Whatever! It just seems like I am the first one people call when they need something, but when I am having a rough time, where are they? Not one call, not one "hey, how are you doing?" or "How are the kids?" Not one play date, or invite to lunch or anything.

Life with a defiant child is hard too. Every day is a battle, every request a chore. I don't know if the therapist is helping or not. $135 for 53 minutes of playing games and talking. No coping skills. It's frustrating.

We were also going to move to another town. We were thisclose to listing our house. Had they accepted our offer (full asking price contingent on selling our house) we would have. That, in itself, has been an emotional roller coaster. Of course, only one friend knew, only one friend cares. (Not a pity party, it's how this summer has felt).

I'm not trying to make this a depressing post. It's just so amazing how quickly I have been forgotten by people I have gone WAY out of my way to be there for. How quickly a person can become non existent, and how there can be no one who knows or even cares. Except my one blessing of a friend who doesn't judge, is there for me no matter what. Thank God!

My blog, my feelings...judge if you want.