I would just like to know where I went so wrong...This was me when Aiden was 1 year old.

I was so happy, healthy and thin. I had energy through the roof and I could do anything! I just wish I could pin-point where it all went bad.

An insecure husband played some part. He didn't like "who I'd become", whatever that meant. I was confident and outgoing...he didn't like that. But now that he's lost about 40 pounds I support him and would never degrade him the way he did to me. That was the start of it.

I also had postpartum depression with Aiden. My doctor put me on antidepressants saying "you may gain a few pounds but you look like you could stand to". I was flabbergasted! I felt and looked really good so I was surprised he would say that. I also didn't know that antidepressants gave you belly fat, something I never really had, even after 2 kids. It's the worst kind of fat and the hardest to get rid of.

Then, a year and a half ago I had 3 strokes and was diagnosed with Moyamoya. I had two brain surgeries and was restricted to only walking and swimming. I stopped going to the gym and cancelled my persona training service. I am so afraid of pushing even to the end of my comfort zone, I cannot be pushed passed it by someone who doesn't know me or what I've been through.

I've signed up with the gym here in town again and would like to start slowly there.

I need to get back to the person in that picture. I don't like who I physically am now. It's just not me. :(