It's a boy! An 11 1/2 year old boy!

My nephew is now living with us. He will be with us for a year. His mother is in the Army and was "mobilized" (MOBED, as she calls it, I don't know Army lingo) to a place that isn't safe for families and children, on the Texas/Mexico boarder. He will be with us until the end of the school year next summer.

I lived with my Aunt for a year when I was five and did Kindergarten while living with them, so I know what it is like to be away from you Mom and family. It's not all fun and games, I really missed my mom during that time, as I'm sure my nephew does as well. I know how important it is to make him feel welcome and like he is part of our family. One of our spare bedrooms was the kids playroom. It is now my nephew's bedroom. I moved the playroom to our finished basement and completely renovated the room to be "his" room. I knew how important it is to have your own space, your own retreat, your own place within this family. It turned out awesome and he really likes it. He said it was the first time in many years that he had his own room. He quickly unpacked and made it his own with his pictures and posters. It looks awesome...like a child's room should!

I can see some major adjustments already. He and my 6 year old daughter like to ride scooters around our neighborhood. This is not something we have let her do before without one of us with her, but I have let go a little bit and allowed them to as long as they check in every few minutes. Unfortunately, my 4 1/2 year old son doesn't get to go with them. He doesn't understand that on the road he still needs adult supervision. I try to distract him with other things, but most of the time this ends in a fit of crying on his part. We've tried to explain to him (as best as you can to a 4 1/2 year old) that because of his age and maturity level, he can't do everything that the older kids do. Also, there are things that my nephew can do that my daughter can't do either. This is an adjustment that we're dealing with, with some pretty good success.

Yesterday I had to get after my nephew and daughter for disobeying my husband and I on where they can ride their scooters. We have a road, the "loop" that starts right by our house, loops around a section of homes and then pretty much ends right by our house as well. There is no other outside access to this road other than near our house. We allow them to ride the loop as long as they check in every time they pass our house. We also allow them to ride in a new, out-of-the-way area of a new part of a housing development near us. There is only one house there, and brand new smooth roads with almost no car traffic. Unfortunately, this area has river access. We told them that they could ride there as well, BUT DO NOT GO BEYOND THE PICNIC HOUSE TOWARDS THE RIVER!

I think you can see where this is going...

Yesterday my daughter asked me if they could ride the loop and I said they could as long as they checked in. I didn't consult my nephew, I just took my daughter's word that's what they were going to do. After 10 minutes...no check in. 15 minutes...no check in...almost 25 minutes and still no check in. I kept looking for them outside during this time and didn't see or hear them. I knew where they were...down by the river. My son and I got in the car and drove down there and sure enough...scooters and helmets sitting in the picnic house but no sign of them. I tried not to panic and stayed calm until I saw them both, about a block away down a trail along the river's edge. I was pissed! I yelled for them to come pack and them yelled AT them as soon as they were in ear shot. They knew we'd told them to never go past the picnic house by the river. It's a big, strong river, that is still flooded right now due to the wet Spring we've had. I told them both to get home. I made them ride while I drove so that I would have time to cool down and think about what I was going to do rather than react on my fear and angry emotions. I also called my husband at work to verify that he too did in fact tell them not to go down where they were. We talked and they are both now grounded from their scooters for the rest of the week and I explained to them why it is so dangerous and what could have happened.

It was the first time I had to discipline my nephew, but I knew I had to do something to set a precedence, that he had to listen to us and that there would be consequences if he didn't. After calmly talking it out, I think we now have that set.

All is good again now.